texts from last night

[link]

(906):
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or all time genius?

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

[Paris! :)]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wow there's some weirdos out there!

[fullhouseforever]

Ah yes, drugs and sexual references are a great way to attract a new batch of Full House fans.

[Libby Chessler]

Yeah, its a wonderful way isnt it? I'm sure the noobs will just love this.
Now where was I?

(514):
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses

(831):
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE

(901):
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

(305):
Party in the USA is so catchy!

(863):
Yea, so is AIDS.

(613):
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

[link]

(205): One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.

[link]

(339): i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall

LMFAO

[Paris! :)]

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Where do you guys get those from?

[hopoffmaswag]

(319):

he asked me to smell his eyeballs.

(660):

My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America