Author Topic: F MY LIFE!  (Read 89 times)

F MY LIFE!
« on: January 09, 2010, 02:34:57 AM »
since FML is better i thought i'd make a topic of it.

www.fmylife.com

Today, my friends and I played spin the bottle blindfolded. I spun it and they put some blindfolded guy in front of me. I kissed him and we took off our blindfolds. It was my brother. FML

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness.

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

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Re: F MY LIFE!
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2010, 02:59:34 AM »
you little hoe copying my topic.
Paris *unicef says:
*LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SOMEONE CALL THE EXTERMINATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!
$NOOP says:
*1800 ghost buster
*oh wait
*thats for ghosts

Re: F MY LIFE!
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2010, 03:16:23 AM »
i'm your little hoe
i don't mean that at all

Offline Libby Chessler

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Re: F MY LIFE!
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2010, 09:41:21 PM »
Today, I was finishing writing up my resume on the computer, when someone called me saying my mom got into an accident at Walmart. I drove to Walmart to find out my mom wasn't even there. The person who called was my brother, who wanted the computer. He closed my resume unsaved. Interview in 5 minutes. FML

Today, I was at a band practice. The band was talking to each other with language like "cadence", "resolution" and "consecutive fifths". When they spoke to me, they used terms like "tick", "bong", "ticky bong"; and "bongy tick". Musically, I feel like a baboon. FML

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

Today, I was doing my paper round. I got to the last house and thought I had done everything right. I checked my list of houses, and I had done every single one wrong. I went and got all the papers back and delivered them again. That was when I realised I did them right in the first place. FML

You both should post some raunchier ones. Those are usually the funniest. lol